http://www.flickr.com/photos/42834622@N00/4488221416
Weeks before searching in Google, a friend was happy to inform me that he is now joining marathons. In fact, he timed twenty-four minutes in the five-kilometer category he signed in. And he was encouraging me to join him and our other friends as well.
Without battling an eyelash, I said yes to him. But then I asked myself: am I really willing to join the marathon? Can I really run and finish five kilometers?
Then I started to question myself: why did I say yes? Of course I did aerobics before, but running is more strenuous. Now that I was diagnosed with osteopenia, I don’t know how I will fare. What if while running, my bones will start to untangle and get loose?
And why am I checking for aerobics classes again? I only touch our yoga ball twice a week, and use it for only five minutes. If I do get to enrol, it would take me a lot of preparation before going to the aerobics class (the Fitness First branch nearest to us is in SM Southmall, which is around forty-five minutes to one hour away). What difference will it make? Will I be more motivated to attend and get fit?
Since I was a kid, I never had the habit of doing exercise (I only do stretching). I never saw my dad doing high impact exercises because he has asthma. My mom, whom I see dances every now and then even if she has two left feet (that’s according to her); never gets fat but is healthy.
I tried doing some interventions every now and then, like, if I see my tummy bulging. I tried doing sit ups for that. But then I gave up because it’s better to eat than look at my tummy. I saw that my shoulders are getting big, and so I did some workouts for it. Guess what, I stopped after some people have noticed that my shoulders look good. Ultimately, I lost interest in exercising when I was diagnosed with hyperthyroidism. This thyroid problem will not make me fat as long as I have it. You could give me all the food that I love to eat and I won’t have a care in the world. So why exercise?
I think this is more than procrastination on my part. Like what preacher Bo Sanchez said, habits are stronger than our beliefs. I think that my inner self believes that whatever disorders that I have will never be gone. I also think that whatever I do, I will never achieve something.
I know I’m nuts. I do tell myself that I will look like Kylie Minogue or Eva Longoria-Parker by the time I reach the age of forty. I tell that to myself while watching them in E! News as I sit on our sofa eating chocolate.
I think my body is ready for some aerobics again. A marathon, I think, will also do my bones well. But until I overhaul my inner beliefs, I will just continue to imagine myself physically fit.
