Moving On

How do you continue for another day when a lot of goodbye’s have been said the day before?

http://www.flickr.com/photos/38633611@N00/267989510

How do you pick up the pieces and try to put it together, knowing that it will never be the same?
How do you see the new day?

http://www.flickr.com/photos/17642817@N00/2815030927

What do you tell yourself – “I’ll be alright” or “I’ll be fine?”
How come you tell people you’re okay – but deep inside you’re not?
How come in spite of the many things that occupy your mind, it all boils down to “it’s still empty?”

http://www.flickr.com/photos/10209031@N08/4415974631

When will the day when you could proudly say “I’m back to normal” come?

Missing You - Not

http://www.flickr.com/photos/33345813@N00/1385100375

wrote this last July 21, 2010.

I heard a familiar song one day. I have known this song since I was a kid – I even remember singing it using our new karaoke. I remembered singing at my heart’s delight, even though I don’t have any idea what the song meant.

Years after, I heard it again. This time, I knew the meaning. Well, sort of. Part of its chorus goes like this:
   
        I miss you like crazy
        Ever since you went away
        Every hour of everyday
        I miss you like crazy
        No matter what they say or do
        There’ just no getting over you

I got scared after I heard the song. Because for the first time after the hurting, it dawned on me that you don’t matter to me anymore. This time, it’s true.

But why did I get scared? I am afraid to see you – your face, your smile, even your shadow.

I’m afraid to hear your voice – the way you say “hello”; even the way you say your mind and your laugh.

I’m scared to realize that you still exist.

Whatever I felt for you before is gone. I don’t want to feel whatever I felt before again, and then realize that I’m still going to miss you when you’re gone.

To tell you honestly, I miss you – not.