Proscrastinator Me

wrote this last September 5, 2010.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/10393601@N08/2987926396

I still have three weeks before the schedule Licensure Exam for Teachers (LET), but I have not reviewed any single thing about Professional Education. My mother borrowed a reviewer from a colleague, but I haven’t touched it.

I did not do one activity and my midterm exam in one of my master’s degree subjects (a MAJOR subject at that). On the other hand, my elective subject has a final paper that I need to submit in a week’s time, but I have not done any reading on it.

I have learned the basics of internet marketing last year, even the basics on how to be a virtual assistant early this year. I tried to learn them so that it could give another possible income for me and my family. But close to a year of learning them, I have not done something dramatic.

These are just some of the things that I have been doing, or, I NEED to do – but I’m not doing them.

Despicable Me? No, it’s the Procrastinator Me.

I don’t know how this procrastination really started. I remember during my school years that I have always been a prudent student – I do care of the deadlines. With the guidance of my parents, I got all my assignments and projects done. During college, I even remembered maximizing the use of my calendar by writing all the deadlines of my projects, as well the midterm and finals schedule. I was able to get through them all well.

But alas, gone are the days when I get to put my life on schedule. Gone are the days of getting scared of not submitting on time.

Somehow, when I ended up schooling, I have learned not be scared of the consequences.

I realized that there were no more teachers to tell me what to do and when to submit them – that’s why I have put on tomorrow the things that I need to do.

I was old enough to be guided by my parents, so I could do what I need to do on my own.

When I have started working, I have learned the art of “last minute” – doing tasks and reports one day or during the deadline. I’m thanking my former and current office mates for introducing me to this art – I found myself good at it. I even brought the art at my master’s degree class.

I was told time and again that I am a bright person. I know it has not gotten into my head. But the being bright and being good at doing things at the last minute is a deadly combination, if you’re going to ask me.

It’s funny that I have learned how to procrastinate at this point in my life. Deadlines during school years have far less dreaded consequences than what could happen to me now.

I will fail the licensure exam if I will not start studying.

I will risk failing my master’s degree subjects and end up having two failed subjects before ending my course.

I will continue to rely on my salary, bickering on how big the deductions are on my taxes and other government stuff if I do not apply what I have learned about internet marketing.

See, I know the consequences of my procrastination. But it seems that I am not scared.

Was it because I have fully believed that I can still do them at the last minute and emerge a winner?

Was it because no one’s guiding me anymore, thus the lack of motivation on my part?

Was it really the “bright person” in me that has gotten into my head?

Have I gotten so strong that I don’t fear anything anymore?

I don’t know. But what I do know is that I need to get up and do something about the Procrastinator Me.

It seems that some of the effects of procrastinating have not gotten into my nerves. I know that whatever delays that I’m doing now will pay back to me big time soon. I know I can’t let that happen to me. Not anymore.

I need to change for the better if I want to make things happen for myself. I want to be surprised again on what I can do – at the fastest time possible. I know that I can only change if I just go for it – once and for all. No more delays.

I’ll start tomorrow.

Sydney Has Arrived!

http://www.flickr.com/photos/53326337@N00/1429257429

wrote this last March 29, 2010.

For two weeks now, I have been setting quality time with Sydney.

One might say that my current song is “Getting to Know Each Other,” because that’s what has been really going on. I am getting to know Sydney, day by day (or should I say, night by night).

I have read through his quick and easy guides, both in soft and hard files. I have been exploring his programs, and how cute he is. He has also solidified my love of color red, because that is his color. I find myself silly now that I am touching his keyboard and the letters are jumping, thanks to his multi-gesture touch pad that accidentally gets tapped by my travelling fingers. Sometimes, I just can’t help but stare at him – he’s just so, small.

I have even shared Sydney’s “mysterious” character in Facebook, Twitter, Yahoo and Google Buzz.

Sydney, for those who are curious to know, is an Acer Aspire One notebook. He was a gift by one of my “lost but found” godmothers. Until now, I could not believe that she gave me a notebook as a gift for my 29th birthday. And to show my appreciation to the gift she gave, I named the notebook Sydney, after the place where she is currently residing.

And boy, what a gift Sydney was!

Ever since Sydney arrived, my night life was never the same. And it should be.

For one, Sydney was a dream that I never thought would come into my life. It’s true that I posted a picture of a laptop in my dream board. But I never imagined it would jump out of my board – literally. In fact, Sydney’s better looking than the one that I posted in my board.

Now that Sydney has arrived, I have to more seriously focus on the reason why I dreamed and wanted him. I posted in my dream board that my laptop will be an instrument for earning passive income and communicating with friends. Moreover, he will encourage me to open him and type any idea that pops out my brain.

Syd (his nick name) will help me achieve these two big dreams and to rekindle my love for writing. That’s not all – Syd will also help my brother expand his creativity, aside from my parents knowing the basics of e-mail and keeping in touch with people dearest to them (one of them is of course my generous godmother).

It’s not going to be easy, for I have a bigger responsibility now. It would mean more time to teach my parents. It could also mean I will be delayed in typing my thoughts because my brother might spend time with Syd for some days. It would also mean more trips to the malls to avail of the free Wi-fi (or bigger prepaid costs if I access the Internet in the house). But it is a responsibility that I have to take. I know he’s God’s gift to me, but Sydney will just be an instrument – I still have a bigger part to play.

I can’t wait how Sydney will help me transform into a more responsible person. I can’t wait for him to bring out the best in me. I will see it unfold; and I’m excited about the new me.

Sydney has arrived.

My life will never be the same.

The Facilitator

wrote this last June 3, 2010.

It’s my first time to sit in the presidential table and be introduced as a training facilitator. It was so chilling – it was like I want to evaporate from my seat at once. While the assigned person who introduced us was reading my so-called “accomplishments”, I felt one hundred eyes – there were fifty participants – looking at me; I felt I was being seized up.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/16258917@N00/4323534986

 I wondered how seasoned speakers, facilitators, and lecturers ever get used to that kind of introduction, to that fame. Because personally, I don’t think I will.

On the other hand, I felt humbled. As a member of the convention secretariat on my previous work (it was one of the many tasks that I managed to juggle), I only prepared everything for a speaker. Now, I got to experience being prepared at – from my accommodation, food, and requirements, to making sure that I’ll get back home safe and comfortable.

I guess this is now my time. But I don’t think I’ll really ever get used to it.

My First 5K Run

http://www.flickr.com/photos/89043431@N00/4714570598

wrote this last September 2, 2010.

It’s been a month since my first 5-kilometer run. But I can still remember what happened during that day, because I thought it was going to turn out great.

August 1, 2010. I was registered to run my first 5K during The Rexona Run (Runrio Productions) in Mall of Asia. I woke up at 2:30 am to prepare because I was asked by my runner friends to be at the meeting place by 4 am. Although my run time will start at 5:40 am, my friends need to be there earlier; they will run 21K and 10K, respectively. Also, the traffic route will change if we arrive beyond 5 am.

I ate my two pan de sals and my glass of milk. Then, I laced up and went out of the house.

I started doing the usual stretching while I waited for the turn of the 5K runners to run. I saw the dawn breaking; I told myself that when the sun shines, I have made my first 5K record.

After the warm up that the organizers gave and the directions were presented, it was time. Air gun shot was made, and as my co-runners screamed for joy, we all slowly passed the starting mark.

I just remembered only one thought while I was doing my run (and walk): my only enemy is myself. I was not there to compete with anybody. I was there to have fun.

The 5K route was full of turns. It was so fulfilling to see the place around Mall of Asia by running. My eyes enjoyed the early morning sight – no traffic yet. Just streets full of running people.

A route mark at the end of the 3rd kilometer made me smile. I was going to make history for myself – I could do this! I’m going to reach 5K!

Just then, minutes after passing the said mark, I felt my head gone cold, and so were my fingers. I slowly stopped running and did brisk walk. But then, I felt slight dizziness. I got scared and started praying more loudly (I haven’t ceased praying since I started the run). I know it may sound silly, but I prayed, “Please don’t make me die today. It’s so silly to die while running!”

The slight dizziness was gone in seconds, and so the coldness that I felt in my head and fingers. I got another bottle of water on the next water station. I immediately poured some of the water into my head and neck, and then drank most of it. I actually never let go of the water bottle until it was empty.

I was thankful that I did not pass out. Unfortunately, I had to walk my last two kilometers. I was already feeling disappointed; a while ago I thought I can make a new record for myself. The sun has risen, but I was already thinking of going back to 3K on my next run.

One of the saddest things in life is to know that you can do something but just cannot do it because the risk is there, waiting to happen. I felt it that day.

I sadly looked at the people around me, still running up to the finish line. I knew I still can, but I don’t want to push myself anymore.

I immediately went to the First Aid Station right after I got my freebies. I was attended to right away. According to the nurses that checked me out, my blood pressure and pulse rate were normal. “Maybe you did not eat right, Ma’m,” was the remark of one of the nurses.

I remembered: I only ate two pan de sals and a glass of milk.

What the nurse said was further confirmed by my friends when they saw me. What I ate was not enough. I need to eat a lot more during race day so that I could burn them. The food that I ate was only enough for the travel that I did going to the venue.

Since then, I have learned to eat first before running, even if I would only run in our village. I have also started reading magazines about running to guide me on the right running positions, essential gadgets, and even the right food that I could take (I have been reading back issues of a free running magazine called The BullRunner (http://thebullrunner,com), and it has been a good help to me).

As for going back to 3K, after giving it a careful thought, I decided to put that on hold and continue to run the 5K. I know that I can finish a 5K run, given the right preparation. Another friend has given me a 5K preparation program in time for my next run, and I’m doing it now.

I am still sad every time I remember that day. But I am happy that I lived to learn from it. I would say that I learned a big lesson, but the good thing was I did not have to pay for it big time.

JS PROM 2: The Girl in the Pink Gown

http://www.flickr.com/photos/79874304@N00/115160456

wrote this last February 22, 2010.

Did you know that I wore a gown during my Junior and Senior Promenade?

Weeks before the event, my mother and I bought THE PROM GOWN: Its color is pink, my favorite color. It had flower designs on both arms. Needless to say, it’s a so super-girl pink gown.

But during the time of buying, I was hesitant; it wasn’t the same type of dress that my classmates were looking into the Vogue and Cosmopolitan back issues they scanned during recess and lunch (and during class). Some even brought their dresses in school; the semi-formal types. So I was kind of expecting that I would also wear the same type of dress. But maybe because my excitement was now as high as my classmates, I never bothered to ask.

It was the prom night. As planned, my aunt and my cousin (a professional make up artist) stayed overnight in the house in time for the event. The two of them (plus my mother, who went on a day leave) were excited for me. They couldn’t stop talking about their own JS Prom experiences (I couldn’t recall the event’s name before). In a few minutes, I was made up. During those minutes, I kept on looking at the pink gown.

I was still hesitant: should I really wear you? I almost said loudly to the pink gown. Since it didn’t really answer (I would have somehow listened its take on the issue), I slipped it in from my feet, went out of the house, go in our owner-typed jeep, and went on the way to school. My mother accompanied me.

When I arrived at the school, I saw some of my classmates. They weren’t able to say “hi” immediately; they were not looking at me. Instead, they were looking at what I was wearing. The reactions signaled one thing: I’m not in the norm. They were wearing the same type of dress; I was wearing the pink gown. I LOOKED DIFFERENT.

All of a sudden, I sensed that the pink gown has just begun to make headlines.

I was already thinking of going back inside our vehicle, go back to the house and get whatever I could rummage from our cabinets. Never mind if I’ll be late for the prom; I just wanted to get out of the pink gown.

But my mother said gently, “Go inside. Don’t be bothered by what you’ll hear and see. This is your night as well. Enjoy.” Those comforting words were just reassuring. And so I started to walk slowly inside the school. Although still with hesitation, I braved the walk; what do they care, anyway? This Prom is MY Prom, too!

I was intending to spend the whole program sitting on my chair (which was covered by the pink gown). But because my friends’ reassurance (and persistence), I stood up, went to the dance floor, and danced the night away. I had fun; I was myself; I was confident. I didn’t have a care in the world!

Indeed, the night I was in the pink gown taught me lots of lessons.

Since then, my mother and I started to take a look at magazines first and checked the attire on every program invitation we got.

True friends who would stick with you are hard to find, and if you find them, treasure them with all your heart. I still do communicate with those friends until now.

I have also started to defy fashion norms when it comes to expressing myself; I became one of the sought-after good dressers wherever I go, and I have made it a point to look and feel good.

But the most important thing was that the pink gown taught me to never be afraid of anything.

Do I regret to be known as the girl-in-the-pink-gown during the JS Prom? No. Truth is, the girl has started to make headlines on her own.

Hyperlink to False Promises

http://www.flickr.com/photos/53611153@N00/316668966

wrote this last March 9, 2010.

 I have wanted to access a hyperlink that discussed online placements. According to the news that superceded that link, it promised more income earning than the eight to five job. I saw the hyperlink from a friend’s Facebook status.

For months, I kept on reading the news article that I copied and pasted in MS Word. For one, the man on the street interviewed was a Filipina from Iloilo. Based on the interview, she was just like any of us – trying to make ends meet, especially now that we are still experiencing the after effects of the global financial crisis. When she found out about the possibility of having an online job (or work at home placements), she grabbed the chance and is now earning U$ 5,000 per month.

“U$ 5,000 a month? Ka-ching!” the cashier inside me said. That is roughly Php 230,000, presuming that the peso-dollar exchange rate is Php 46 to U$1. In a year, I could be Php 27.6 million richer than any of my alter-egos and relatives.

And so I tried to click the hyperlink. Bad move – the hyperlink is blocked by the office Internet. I frowned in disappointment. I promised myself that if I get tot read what’s in the hyperlink and be successful, I would quit this day job and I will never return. Never!

Months passed and due to workload, I forgot the existence of the hyperlink. If I do get the chance to read the article again, I would find myself staring at the hyperlink. I felt that I am not given the opportunity to earn more because I can’t access it.

Then, I resigned and moved to another job. I again happened to read the article and saw the hyperlink. The cashier inside me said, “Maybe it could be opened here.” I placed the cursor at the hyperlink and pressed the left click of the mouse. And then, the unthinkable happened – another window opened. This is it! Pathway to richness, here I come!

It was a long marketing speech of how easy the job will be, and with commitment and persistence, earning money will also be easy. Training for the job will also just take a few hours, and one can start working. You know what the job position is? Auction Listing Agent for E-bay. Sounds interesting and looks good in resume.

As I continued to scroll down, I found out there was a catch: I need to pay almost U$ 200 to get access to the training certification program. Sure I could get it immediately once I started the job, but U$200? Where will I get that? I thought this was another hindrance to my opportunity to earn more.

While I was pondering on this thought, I saw that online marketing mentor, Jomar Hilario (www.jomarhilario.com), was available to chat. I took courage to greet him and told him everything about the hyperlink.

“Hahaha. Did you pay your employer for you to get hired?” he replied. Honestly speaking, it was like a cold water poured in my head. I immediately replied, “No.” He said, “Ask your friend if he or she really earned. If not, then it’s a hack. You don’t even know them!”

From then on, I removed the news article file that I saved in MS Word. I erased with it the hyperlink that I used to stare on, with hope that it would help me earn more. I can’t imagine how fast technology could keep up even with “easy money” scams.

Be careful of hyperlinks that give false promises.